Little means more to this single dad than seeing his children wrestle with the world and win. One of mine won this weekend after a college visit. I watched her soar.

She’s child Five of Six. One and Two have already graduated and Three and Four are currently attending; it’s Five’s turn now.

Dads are used to holding our breaths and concealing grimaces over skinned knees. Remain strong; best not show true concern; stop the bleeding. Five and I started her college quest last year: “Daddy, where should I go to college?”

Because I personally hated my high school experience, I applauded Five’s decision to graduate early, but I immediately had to practice not grimacing when she announced her intention to (in dad’s view) waste her year gained by early graduation to “stay nearby and grow up.” WHY GRADUATE EARLY? I screamed internally. Outwardly, I stapled my tongue to my lip and said little, especially to Five. (But I think she heard my inner screams.)

Five did her homework when we began working through college applications earnestly. “Where are those other scholarship possibilities you talked about, dad?”

“Over here, at the website I gave you.”

“What schools offer them?”

“They’re on the website. Where do you want to go?”

“What schools are in state?”

“Same website. Let’s search by state.”

After months of e-Paperwork ad nauseam, Five declared, “Dad, I’m never going to college. No one will accept me.”

“Sweetheart, how many older siblings do you have?”

“Four.”

“And how many failed to get into college?”

“None.”

”So, you’d be the first?”

“It could happen.”

I tried not to grimace when, after college acceptance 1, college acceptance 2, college acceptance 3… college acceptance umteen rolled in, there were never enough college acceptances to convince Five that she was likely going to college. It didn’t matter that every college she applied to accepted her.

I tried not to grimace when Five said, “Besides, even if I get in, I don’t have the money to pay for college; no one’s going to give me scholarships.”

I held my grimace yet again when, after every school offered serious scholarships to procure her attendance, Five’s response was “Oh, great! Now I get to fail all my courses and lose my scholarships!”

Tried not to grimace yet again when Five felt paralyzed by the possibility of making a wrong choice among three prestigious opportunities. “Sweetheart,” I said, dabbing her skinned knee, “these are all terrific schools offering you terrific possibilities and terrific experiences. There is no wrong decision. You will make friends with different people; you will study under different professors, and your life will follow different paths depending upon where you go college, but you will make incredible friends, learn from incredible professors, and launch an incredible life no matter where you go.”

“But how will I know the right decision for me?”

“You will feel the right decision. It will be the right decision because you make it.” This is your life to direct. It doesn’t matter which among the terrific choices you choose; they all lead to wonderful places. You’ll know which one is for you. And the best part is that, once you feel the right decision, everything becomes clear and all your doubt will be lifted.”

This weekend was our last college visit. I knew Five was enjoying herself, and I sensed she saw more during this visit to campus than our cursory visit last fall. But I knew this weekend changed everything when, as we walked to our car to drive home, Five suddenly hugged me close, burst into tears, and said, “daddy, I’m so happy.”

Five still doesn’t know where she’ll land after college, but she realized this weekend that where she lands doesn’t matter because it’s all in the flight.

I saw one of my children succeed this weekend. I watched her soar.

This post and blog are copyrighted by Glen-Peter Ahlers, Sr.