All is energy Einstein said. It can’t be created or destroyed; it just is. So Love can’t be created or destroyed. Maybe, but it certainly can get mangled.

How does one unmangle, or better yet, prevent the mangling of one’s Love in the first place? Mangling arises when we fail to separate our Love from all the noise of our lives. When we heap our Love together with all the stressors of life, how can Love itself not become a stressor? Our Love isn’t mangled, our lives are. When we fail to differentiate one from the other, all becomes a twisted, mangled mess. Instead of being shaped and tempered by the passion of our souls, Love is bent and twisted by the furies and tempests of life.

If we are fortunate, Love emanates from a central role in our lives and permeates all we do. Yet our sense of loving one person above all others needs to be held separate and secure, in a special locked chamber of the heart with only one key. There, only one fire may burn; the fire that warms us, fuels us, and lights our way in the dark. If we fail to protect our Love by separating it, first it gets tangled up, then mangled up in life. So, how do we separate our Love? There are as many ways as there are lovers.

One way to protect and separate our Love is to tell ourselves, our lover, and the world that our Love comes first. We protect and separate our Love in words and deeds. When the children misbehave or the boss becomes unreasonable, take a breath and ask yourself, what on earth does my lover have to do with all this? The silent answer speaks volumes: nothing.

Yes, our energies may run low, depleted by the incessant needs of the children: shopping, chauffeuring, schlepping, cooking, cleaning, and caring for them when they are ill. There are 2 am feedings, 3 am diapers, and midnight at the mall teen—“Dad, can you pick us up at Midnight after the movie and take me and my friends home?” There’s homework not done, chores not done, and rooms not clean.  But what does our lover have to do with all this? Shhh, listen…. That’s right, nothing.

Frazzled as we may be, tucked away deep inside our private chamber, the fire of Love glows. It can refresh us as needed. Try this: close your eyes and place your hands over your heart. Think of your lover and breathe slowly.  Three minutes of quiet breathing in the heart will help smooth out life’s wrinkles. At the same time it serves to separate, strengthen, and straighten out your Love. It reminds us of Ourself, the intersection of our life with our lover’s. Breathing in our heart reminds us that there are no unruly teenagers there, no unreasonable bosses, no demands. In our heart’s deepest chamber there is just lover-lover.

Simple, untangled Love.

Let me know what you think about breathing in your heart and what other ways you use to keep your Love unmangled.