The impatience of youth propels us in and out of Love at rocket speed, sometimes at the rate of one or more girlfriends or boyfriends a week. We’re indiscriminate in youth. Our puppy loves are actually likes, but we call them Love. Parents try to guard the hearts of children when the temporary glow of the week’s infatuation begins to wane. Parents know the milieu children face as hormones fly, curiosity rages, and self-doubt looms around each corner in the school hallways. We also know we can’t really protect them, but we hope to soften the blow.

Eventually these temporary whims give way to real Love. Not every Love works out, however. Sometimes uppercase Love turns out to be lowercase love, and we begin our search anew. Each time we search, however, we search with the advantage of having learned something from the failed love. When circumstances send us back to the marketplace, we know better what we’re looking for. We learn to discriminate, and we know with greater accuracy when we find the right mate. We’re no longer interested in the revolving door. We search a foundation upon which to build life anew with another. Is there passion in mature Love? Of course! Is there laughter? Of course! Is mature Love thrilling? Of course! What has changed then from our teenage years?

What has changed is the certainty. We know more of what we want in Love, and we know what we don’t want. When Love resonates within us, we know it’s not mere puppy infatuation. We know we’re responding instead to a deeply resonating energy, a corresponding chord emanating from another. We know the difference between a tickle, a fancy, a whim, and a vibrant, harmonic rhythm.

“How do you know for sure,” my sister once asked me. “How do you know she’s the one?”

I replied that there was no way I could satisfy her with an explanation of my certainty. “Many feel certainty and faith in religious convictions,” I said. “I am certain of, and place my faith in Love.”

“But you’ve been wrong before,” she said. “How do you know you’re right this time?”

I am certain as the Buddhist is certain, as the Christian is certain, as the Hindu is certain, as the Jew is certain, as the Muslim is certain, and on and on and on. None of them is wrong. Each is certain. Each has a deep conviction, an unshakable knowing. I too have a deep conviction and unshakable knowing. “This Love is not a product of impatient youth,” I said.